Sunday, July 09, 2006

URGES

I have the urge to jump over the counter at McDonalds and
Make my own Chicken McNuggets.
Because I’m tired of telling them that I want them fresh.
I’ll wait the five minutes but
They still give me some hot, nasty, microwave, re-cooked ones.
I have the right mind to slap the lady that tells me,
They are fresh. "No they aren’t!" I want to shout right back.
Don’t you ever have the urge to just punch people?
Too bad, I think sometimes that my body doesn’t react to my mind’s first reactions.
I think my urges are sometimes mean.
They are like my evil twin.
Like I have the urge to grab a cops gun.
Everyone who knows me, knows I would never do that though.
I mean, of course, unless I felt like acting on one of my many urges.
I have the drive to go rob a bank on broke days
Or go steal some money out of a cash register on some days.
I don’t think I would ever really do that.
Yet, am I criminal for thinking criminal thoughts?
A hoe for thinking hoe thoughts?
I have the urge to go stand on the freeway
And hold my hand up, just to see how many cars I can get to stop.
I have the urge to get hit by one of those cars
To see who would come to my funeral.
Just cause I have the desire to find out if anybody really cares.
Am I the only one?
Do other people think about doing things that they would never do?
Am I the only one that says to myself, "What if?"
What if I did this? What if I did that?
What if I stood in the middle of the street buck ass naked?
Would you laugh at my ugly body?
Okay, maybe you don’t think that,
And maybe that was just a little too much information.
But you know what I am saying.
What if we all acted out our urges?
I’d be dead, in jail right now, or in a insane asylum,
Trying to refrain from thinking about why I acted on my urges.
I have the urge to become a cop so that I can arrest bad cops.
Or I might like to lie and say I’m only 12
So I can catch the pedophile who is acting on his urges.
I have the itch to tell the bill collector that keeps calling and sending mail,
That I’m not ever going to pay them the money.
At least not until I get the money.
I have the longing to tell telemarketers to kiss my ass.
I have the urge to splurge, no work, just play all day,
Walk around cussing, telling everyone they can go to hell.
But I can’t do that. I won’t do that.
That doesn’t mean I don’t have urges.
That doesn’t mean I don’t slip and fall sometimes…okay a lot of times.
I have the urge to slap people that criticize us when we do fall.
When we fall victims to our urges, our desires, our sins.
Not all my urges are bad, cruel and senseless.
I have some nice urges, some sad urges,
Things to do urges, things I want to believe urges.
Like I have the urge to believe that things really happen like they do in the movies.
But as soon as I step out of the movie theater, reality erases that urge.
Sometimes I have the urge to cry in public, but I’m afraid to let others see me cry.
At times, I have the urge to sing, even though I can’t sing a note.
Urges are a funny thing.
Can you judge a person by their urges?
If so, then I a pretty weird person, leading a double life.
But I don’t think so, urges are what they are.
Quick thoughts thrown at our brain from whichever angle.
When we decide to act on these urges good or bad,
Then we become them.
Most of us rationalize and think.
And most of us don’t act on all of our urges.

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